Simmer down

One of the best pieces of parenting advice I've ever gotten was from an episode of Charlie and Lola where the two kids kept fighting so their mom made them "simmer down." She put them in separate chairs, and they had to sit there until they could resolve their argument and agree to play nice. Now every time Cole and Eli fight, I don't try to intervene. I simply tell them to simmer down and make them sit on chairs on opposite sides of the room. They have to stay there until they agree to let the other person get up. If Cole says Eli can get up, but Eli says Cole can't, they both have to remain sitting until Eli changes his mind, and vice versa. Sometimes "simmering down" takes just a couple seconds and they're up and playing again, but sometimes they scream threats at each other from opposites corners for five, ten, fifteen minutes. Either way, they're learning (I hope) how to resolve their own fights, and they don't kill each other in the process.

This is a picture of Eli simmering down at the park. He was in a particularly grouchy mood, so "simmer down" took at least fifteen minutes while he screamed at Cole that he would "never never" play with him again, tried throwing sand across the playground, threw himself on the ground, and finally announced, "Okay, Cole, you can get up."