Sunday, December 25, 2016

Funny Facebook 2016

November 25 ·

Rylan, ordering at a restaurant: "I'd like the kids chicken ravioli. Can you tell me about the special sides? Okay, I'll do the French fries, and I'll have the 1% low fat chocolate milk."

Server: "Wow, that was impressive."

I think the kid has been out to eat a few more times than I had at his age.

October 2 ·

After eating buckeyes, Cole says, "If someone were to call me on the phone right now and ask me who shot Alexander Hamilton, I'd be like, 'Awun Buh! Awun Buh!'" #gotmilk

September 6 ·

Me: My legs hurt.
Rylan: Maybe you're getting polio.

July 28 ·

Me, complaining about having to shave my legs
Eli: Why do girls shave their legs?
Me: Because apparently boys like girls' legs better when they're shaved.
Eli: I do? I didn't know that about myself. I'm always learning new things about myself.

June 23 ·

Rylan's response when I asked if I should go running even though it looks like rain: "Yes, because YOLO."

June 17 ·

Rylan telling us about his book Uranus and the Bubbles of Trouble: "Cronos chopped up Uranus and threw the pieces in the ocean." Lots of little boy giggles, including mine.

April 16 ·

The Art of the Insult:
Me: These towels smell like they need to be re-washed.
Eli: YOU smell like you need to be re-washed.

March 23 ·

Rylan says: "I showed Ms. Leonard a noise I can make, and she said, 'I don't know how your mom can handle three boys.'"

February 3 ·

This just happened.
Rylan: What is 29 × .24?
Me: That's too complicated to do in my head.
Cole: It would be... (spouts off a couple of numbers, adds them in his head)...6.96

January 30 ·

Me: Wanna hear a funny joke? Why did Adele cross the road? To sing "hello from the other side."
Rylan: It's not that funny.

January 13 ·

Cole: Cookout always makes me sick. I love it and think it's wonderful and won't stop eating it, but I always feel sick afterward. #storyofmylife

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