All of our stuff is in boxes, we have no wifi, virtually camping out in the basement of our new house while the renovations are finished. Eli says, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish the weekend would be over so I can go back to school and have something to do."
October 29, 2015 ·
Cole: Stay out of it!
Eli: You were talking about me!
Cole: I was using you as evidence to support my point of view!
#sonofanenglishteacher
October 28, 2015 ·
Me: Who should I invite to my birthday party?
Rylan: Ms. Leonard? (His school teacher)
Me: Ms. Leonard isn't my friend.
Rylan: Mom. Anyone can be your friend.
September 21, 2015 ·
Me: "Stop using so much sour cream. It's a condiment, like catsup."
Boys: "What did you call it?"
Me: "Catsup."
Boys: "It's ketchup. Do you also call it mastard? And Myricle Whip? And reliesh?"
June 30, 2015 ·
On Sunday, we had the missionaries over for dinner. Cole kept interrupting their lesson to talk about cookies, so I whispered, "Stop making irrelevant comments." He whispered back, "Cookies are always relevant."
May 14, 2015 ·
Explaining why he's not embarrassed to be in a ballet elective at school, Rylan said, "I'm trying to show that there are no such things as boy things and girl things...except for vaginas."
April 21, 2015 ·
Cole: I am maturer than you.
Eli: Well at least I'm betterer at grammarer.
April 14, 2015 ·
Cole: Why does Uranus have rings?
Eli: My anus doesn't.
March 26, 2015 ·
The doctor suggested to Cole that he give up video games to get over his insomnia. Cole said he'd rather just be tired.
March 23, 2015 ·
Rylan: What's in the soup?
Me: Peppers, tomatoes, corn
Rylan: I don't like any of those things!
Me: I know. I put them in to torture you.
Rylan: Well then I'm going to torture you by not eating them.
February 18, 2015 ·
Cole: Rylan, why do you have to burp all the time? I never burp.
Eli: Yeah, and I haven't farted since 1987.
January 19, 2015 ·
Me: I need to buy you a messkit for camping?
Cole: You need to buy me a musket?
January 9, 2015 ·
Me: Common Sense Media gives the movie a 9+, so I guess we better wait until Rylan is a little older.
Eli: Does it have shooting in it or something?
Me: No, I think kissing.
Eli: Eew. Then it's not appropriate for any of us.
Me: Common Sense Media gives the movie a 9+, so I guess we better wait until Rylan is a little older.
Eli: Does it have shooting in it or something?
Me: No, I think kissing.
Eli: Eew. Then it's not appropriate for any of us.
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